Alarm Clocks Make You Fat And Increase Risk Of Death


The dreaded alarm clock.

Mine endures a lot abuse…

It gets shouted at, whacked and sometimes even launched into the air when finding the off button is too much work.

But now we all have a good reason for hating our alarm clocks – they’re bad for our health.

Not only do they send shivers down our spines every morning, but studies show that they are turning us into fat, smoking coffee addicts.

Yes you did read that right… Fat, smoking coffee addicts.

Yep apparently the disturbance to our natural body clock means that we eat more during the day, leaning us towards the tubbier side, not too sure why it makes you more likely to smoke and the coffee thing is pretty self-explanatory.

And not only this…

The alarm clock can leave us more open to risk of heart attacks, blood clots and high blood pressure!!

Having a heart attack when hearing your alarm clock go off is not just a metaphor!

The sudden jolting when hearing the alarm forcing us to wake up confuses our poor bodies and the blood thickens causing all kinds of problems.

And the heart is startled.

Even when we are awake, if we hear the noise of an alarm clock we suddenly feel the hatred returning…

Those bloody TV adverts that have alarm clock noises in them make me outraged.

Completely unnecessary.

Anyway, we also get more stressed out, and it can affect our performances at work.

We get stressed, therefore more grumpy, therefore snapping at people (mainly unintentionally) becomes more likely and results in loss of friends, enemies in the work place and people making your life difficult (depending on how much you snapped).

This leaves us depressed, which means overdose more likely and subsequently resulting in death. All because of your alarm clock.

And being an alcoholic is also more likely. Drinking away the pain…

We should hate our alarm clocks. Look at what they are doing to us.

The best metaphor to describe the alarm clock I can think of is that it is like the film Gremlins – looks completely harmless at first, but really its intentions are unspeakably dark.

My advice: Abuse your alarm clock at every opportunity.

Or better still; get rid of it…. before it gets rid of you!!


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